Since you spend most of your waking hours at work, it's only fair that you do as little of actual work while you're there as possible. We've conducted quite a bit of research on this and would like to share our findings.
1. Before you even step foot in the door, eat a breakfast taco or three.
It's probably scientifically proven that a breakfast taco before work will significantly brighten your day for at least the first thirty minutes.
2. Play pranks on your coworkers.
Replace all of their pens with crayons, plaster their cubicle with photos of animals doing tricks, turn the volume on their phone down just a little bit Mon-Thurs and then turn it all the way up on Friday, change the background photo on their computer to one of your face reallyyyy close-up, adjust their chair height everyday, the sky is the limit! Do it to friends or do it to enemies. Either way, you'll have a blast.
3. Pull up an Excel spreadsheet and watch Netflix on your phone.
Always wanted to watch Peaky Blinders but just can't find the time? Start an Excel spreadsheet and put your phone below your monitor. It'll look like you're blankly staring at an Excel spreadsheet....just like you would be doing with an Excel spreadsheet anyway.
4. Take naps.
Eat lunch at your desk so you can spend your lunch break napping in your car. Set your phone alarm to vibrate and crash out in a bathroom stall for fifteen minutes a few times a day. Your coworkers might think you have IBS but you'll be too well-rested to care.
5. Get your reading done via audiobook.
Download Audible or search for free audiobooks and listen to the books you will legit never have time to read even though you think you will one day. You won't. We recommend young adult series because it's easy to miss a word here or there when you have to actually do work. We do not recommend Shakespeare or 20th century contemporary Russian authors.
6. Keep toys at your desk.
Keeping a bobblehead or squishy ball thing in your desk is equally as important as the stash of Hot Cheetos you have. Toys make you happy and happy people don't cast spells on their bosses. They just don't.
7. Watch Game of Thrones, make friends.
Feel like you're surrounded by people you have nothing in common with? Fact: everyone watches Game of Thrones. If you haven't, you probably don't exist. Watch Game of Thrones and start a conversation with literally anyone. Boom, new friend.
Any tips for us that we may not have tried? PLEASE let us know in the comments. We love not working at work.